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Danielle and Derrek

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Dear Danielle and Derrek,

How can I make dating more fun and less awkward?

– Anonymous Guy

Derrek: This one is for guys. So, if you’re a girl and you’re reading this, then prepare for a bunch of really stupid jokes about how weird women are . . . Okay, so back to the guys! There is something you always need to remember when you’re going on a date. Have fun. There really won’t be deep romantic occasions where you just gaze lovingly into each other’s’ eyes. That honestly only happens in books and movies. I am fairly sure that girls also go on dates just to have fun (though I have given up on trying to interpret girls. Danielle is just on a whole different wavelength). So, in order to not have an awkward date, don’t go into it expecting to have a gooey gushy date. Go in planning on having a good time, hanging out, and having fun!

Second piece of advice: Have a plan! Let me play this scene for you:
Guy: “Hi. I’m Tom . . . but you already know that because we’ve been friends forever.”

Girl: “Hey Tom. So, what are we doing tonight?”

Guy: “Umm… We are going to . . . Go out . . . And . . .”
Do you get the point? If you don’t know what you are doing the—BAM, our old friend “awkwardness” strikes again. Having a plan could make the date much smoother. Let’s take a look at this scene again. But this time Tom knows what he wants to do:

Guy: “Hey!”

Girl: “Hey Tom! What are we doing tonight?”

Guy: “We’re going to meet Jack and Jill at The Hill and we’re going to fetch some pales of water!”
Isn’t that so much better? The final piece of advice I have for my bros is this: Don’t try to kiss her unless you know for sure that SHE wants to kiss you. Nothing is more awkward than a kiss denial. And, often the girls are too nice to not kiss you and then they spend the rest of the time feeling awkward.

Danielle: This is for the girls out there who are wondering the same thing. This is a good question, and I think every person wonders about it at some point in their lives. First, don’t go into a date with a ton of expectations. In fact, don’t expect a lot when a guy asks you out, either. This is not High School Musical. You are not Cinderella. Things will not work out perfectly, and things will go wrong. If you go into a date expecting too much instead of going with the flow, you’ll just end up disappointed.

Second, don’t be afraid to ask advice. “Mom, which shoes should I wear?” is one of the questions asked in my household about once a week. “Which necklace?” or “How should I do my hair?” are also very popular.

Every girl freaks out about what to wear to look good on a daily basis, and it’s okay to ask other people’s opinions, but remember to be yourself and remain confident. Do not be so nervous about your appearance that you start to think you are anything less than beautiful.

Third, if you like a guy, and you want to date him, start by treating him as your best friend. A lot of you might think I’m crazy—wouldn’t that put you in the friend zone? Truth is, I would rather know a guy really well and learn about all of his bad habits and terrible secrets before I decide whether or not I truly want to date him. Take Derrek as an example—very few people know his true identity, which is something you would probably want to know if you were to ever think about dating him. Though, I warn you, if you are considering this, you should probably see a therapist.


Don’t forget that you can send your own wacky, crazy, serious, sobering, or laughable questions to Danielle and Derrek! Just send an email to: Make sure to put ADVICE in the Subject Column